Psalms 115:17

1. During this space of nine years, then, from my nineteenth to my eight and twentieth year, we went on seduced and seducing, deceived and deceiving, in divers lusts; publicly, by sciences which they style “liberal”, secretly, with a falsity called religion. Here proud, there superstitious, everywhere vain! Here, striving after the emptiness of popular fame, even to theatrical applauses, and poetic contests, and strifes for grassy garlands, and the follies of shows and the intemperance of desire. There, seeking to be purged from these our corruptions by carrying food to those who were called “elect” and “holy,” out of which, in the laboratory of their stomachs, they should make for us angels and gods, by whom we might be delivered. These things did I follow eagerly, and practise with my friends, by me and with me deceived. …

1. O My God, let me with gratitude remember and confess unto Thee Thy mercies bestowed upon me. Let my bones be steeped in Thy love, and let them say, Who is like unto Thee, O Lord? “Thou hast loosed my bonds, I will offer unto Thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving.” And how Thou hast loosed them I will declare; and all who worship Thee when they hear these things shall say: “Blessed be the Lord in heaven and earth, great and wonderful is His name.” Thy words had stuck fast into my breast, and I was hedged round about by Thee on every side. Of Thy eternal life I was now certain, although I had seen it “through a glass darkly.” Yet I no longer doubted that there was an incorruptible substance, from which was derived all other substance; nor did I now desire to be more certain of Thee, but more stedfast in Thee. …

1. “ O Lord , truly I am Thy servant; I am Thy servant, and the son of Thine handmaid: Thou hast loosed my bonds. I will offer to Thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving.” Let my heart and my tongue praise Thee, and let all my bones say, “Lord, who is like unto Thee?” Let them so say, and answer Thou me, and “say unto my soul, I am Thy salvation.” Who am I, and what is my nature? How evil have not my deeds been; or if not my deeds, my words; or if not my words, my will? But Thou, O Lord, art good and merciful, and Thy right hand had respect unto the profoundness of my death, and removed from the bottom of my heart that abyss of corruption. And this was the result, that I willed not to do what I willed, and willed to do what thou willedst. …

12. “I will offer to Thee the sacrifice of praise” ( ver. 17 ). For I have not found any deserts of mine, since Thou hast broken my bonds asunder; I therefore owe Thee the sacrifice of praise; because, although I will boast that I am Thy servant, and the son of Thy handmaid, I will glory not in myself, but in Thee, my Lord, who hast broken asunder my bonds, that when I return from my desertion, I may again be bound unto Thee.

And if to anyone relying on the help of God and not on his own efforts, it has been vouchsafed to acquire this state, from the condition of a servant, wherein is fear, and from a mercenary greed of hope, whereby there is sought not so much the good of the donor as the recompense of reward, he will begin to pass on to the adoption of sons, where there is no longer fear, nor greed, but that love which never faileth continually endures. Of which fear and love the Lord in chiding some shows what is befitting for each one: “A son knoweth his own father, and a servant feareth his lord: And if I be a Father, where is My honour: and if I be a Lord, where is my fear?” For one who is a servant must needs fear because “if knowing his lord’s will he has done things worthy of stripes, he shall be beaten with many stripes.” Whoever then by this love has attained the image and likeness of God, will now …

For Holy Scripture supports the freedom of the will where it says: “Keep thy heart with all diligence,” but the Apostle indicates its weakness by saying “The Lord keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” David asserts the power of free will, where he says “I have inclined my heart to do Thy righteous acts,” but the same man in like manner teaches us its weakness, by praying and saying, “Incline my heart unto Thy testimonies and not to covetousness:” Solomon also: “The Lord incline our hearts unto Himself that we may walk in all His ways and keep His commandments, and ordinances and judgments.” The Psalmist denotes the power of our will, where he says: “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips that they speak no guile,” our prayer testifies to its weakness, when we say: “O Lord, set a watch before my mouth, and keep the door of my lips.” The importance of our will is maintained by the …